I still try.
I babysit for my sister so she can go to school or go out.
I have my husband pick up things on the way home for anyone that asks.
I help in any way that I can.
We try to take grandma out to the store and stuff.
I try to visit my mother and step father.
I try to make plans with my father and step mother as well.
I always get shot down or bailed on.
I can only rely on my husband for anything.
We live so close to my family. I should be able to see them once a week.
I will sometimes ask for little things or help with something but nobody can.
Everyone is too busy with work or school or their kids.
If tell them that I have things that I have to do when they want help then they get angry and are just mean, I will be called lazy or other things that I know in my heart is wrong.
I will always be the black sheep.
I feel bad.
We live so close to all of my side of the family but honestly it seems like they live so far away.
I am debating on up and moving near my husband’s family, who calls all the time just to visit, checks in on us, and loves us.
They feel like my real family.
I wish that we could move and live near them.
They live in a different state.
My husband has sacrificed so much on this mission that I have to try to repair my family.
I think I need to stop trying and start worrying about me and my husband and children.
If we move it will be six hours away, and we would have family.
I feel like I really need family right now but mine just isn’t really here.
If we move I will have to find a whole new team of doctors and apply for Medicaid there. I would have to find a new endocrinologist and a new school system for my children. I would have to find a new psychiatrist, a new therapist for myself and two of my children.
I want to move.
It seems so hard.