Family Sucks, People Suck

I pay my step sister to bring my girl’s home from school and today she is sick so she can not.

My sister is just sitting at home and refuses to help, the same with my brother. I could call the kids out earlier so that picking them up wont interfere with their days but nope, no can do. They can’t ever help me. I feel like my family just sucks.

My mother is actually taking off work a little early to get them today. This is the first time ever. She has let me know that it is a one time thing and she can’t do this in the future.

I would just walk up to the school if my back wasn’t fractured and giving me this much pain. I might even attempt to walk up there once it warms up.

Right now its super cold here and there is snow and ice everywhere. My son with Sensory Processing Disorder will not walk in the snow and its next to impossible to push a stroller through the snow and use my walker. I can’t even do it with my cane.

Today my littlest can’t stop puking. Leaving the house is not really an option.

I need to get a cheep van. Then I won’t have to rely on anyone and I can just go drive to get them.

Everyone says make them walk but it’s too cold, they’re only in kindergarten and first grade and my first grader is type one diabetic.

This is getting hard. I am making a go fund me to help with a van. I don’t need anything pretty just functional that has enough seats.



Our NICU Story Seven Years Ago

Our story is different. Our daughter wasnt premature, she didn’t have any predicted problems and being placed in the NICU was a total surprise.
Our daughter was born in October 2010 and exactly at 10pm. I was induced and in labor for 16 hours. I had her at 41 weeks. It was a vaginal delivery and my first. She was 8lbs 3.5oz. Way bigger than we thought. She was really dark when she arrived. Both my husband and myself are white  with some native american. She had jaundice and a dangerous bilirubin level. Her blood sugars were low and she was sent to the NICU shortly after birth. I had a ton of stitches from an unwanted epiesiotimy and I still spent 95% of my time with her in the nicu. I was discharged after 3 days but my daughter had to stay a whole week in the NICU. We slept there with her. Took turns who slept in the chair and who used the roll out cot. We held her as much as we could. We tried breastfeeding but had to formula supplement to get her sugar level to a normal level. We had amazing nurses and we learned how to weigh each diaper, check temps, and help with everything. We wanted to be included as much as possible. We were so scared because the NICU is for extremely sick babies and we weren’t sure what was really going on, we were only 18 and 19 years old. She was the largest baby in the NICU, the didn’t have any clothes up there that fit her and she was almost too large for the basinett. We had her clothed from day 2 on. We kept dressing her in cute outfits to lift everyone’s spirits. We had no idea what to expect. She was our first. After discharge we still had to go in for blood work 2 or 3 times. She was breastfed for 3 months and eventually switched to formula.  Now she is 7 years old. In February  this year she was diagnosed with type one diabetes we had a two-week hospital stay and learned how to take care of her with diabetes. Other than that she is completely healthy. We have three other children all younger but she was our only NICU baby.

Diabetes Strikes Again

All day today my daughters sugars have been high. They were in the 200’s at breakfast time then around 10 am they spiked up to the 450’s.

For 10 hours she has had highs from 450 to well over 500.

I have been giving counter units and she has had low to no carbs in her food today.

The doctor called us back and told us to give her extra of her long-lasting insulin for now and see if it helps.

So far it is just getting higher and she is starting to show ketones.

In about an hour if we can’t get it down into the 300’s we are going to have to go to the Emergency Room.

She is only seven and has to go through so much.

Now her tummy and head hurts and she feels like she has heartburn.

Her legs and feet hurt on a daily basis but so far its been chalked up to growing pains.

She is not overweight and diabetes does not run in our family so all of this is still pretty new to her and us.

I sure hope that she starts coming down soon.

Looks like tonight will be full of cuddles.

I will update everyone if we do end up in the ER.

Thanks for reading.

My Kids Have So Many Doctors Appointments

So my oldest is diabetic. She goes in every other month for that. She just had her 7 year-old check up and is being refered out to a childrens psychiatrist.

I guess anxiety runs in the family and thats mostlikly why she has problems sleeping.

For me its like my mind can’t turn off.

For her it is pretty much the same.

I am so anxious for this appointment.

Before this she was taking melatonin and got up to 3mg. Which is an adult dose.

Hopefully when we get her anxiety under control she will sleep better. She goes to bed right after her long lasting insullin shot at 7pm and doesn’t fall asleep until around 2am and she has to be up by 6am on school days. She doesn’t nap either.

So hopefully that will help.

Also my youngest has so many appointments but his upcoming one is for speech therapy.

I am so anxious for this, I want to know all that I can to help my 17 month old communicate better.

He used to speak and then he stopped. That is what is so worrying.

With him now being non verbal, having tons of aggression when I don’t  know what he wants, freaking out with sounds, dislikes textures, does NOT like being touched, hates being dirty, and flails his arms while running in a circle before a fit, along with extreme headbutting, we are looking at something in the autism spectrum.

He is a happy boy until he isn’t and then everything goes downhill fast and he hurts himself.

So far he is too young for a definitive diagnosis.

We have found a tap to talk app which helps him communicate when he wants to use it. It helps with the aggression from not being able to communicate but he still has meltdowns when his siblings hug him or family members try to hold him or hug or kiss him, when he gets dirty, when he poops, and other stuff.

Now I’m just waiting for these appointments.

The Poor Moms Birthday Plan, The kids Deserve More Than This


I forgot about how much Birthday parties cost. We are planning to have a birthday party in our yard for our girls. My girls are turning 6 and 7 on November 1st and October 28th.

At school everyone invites their whole class to their birthdays and it’s just a general unspoken rule. My girls get invited to so many birthday parties. They do have smaller classes, 16 kids in one class and 20 in the other. Well we invited all of the kids from both of the girls classes.

Then we start adding up family members. We have a GIANT family. I have 11 siblings (full, step and half). My cousins want to attend and to bring their children. We seriously have like 30 to 50 family members coming to this party, if not more.

We are having their party outside so everyone has breathing room. Our home is just not large enough. However we do have a very large yard.

We have a playground that we got for free from Craigslist and fixed it up. Someone is wanting to get rid of a trampoline as well and that would be a nice addition to our empty yard (if they respond to me). We will have out soccer nets and a volley ball net set out, a homemade photo booth under our playground, a hand-made been bag toss, some face painting, and a collapsible playpen that we are paying $6 for online that may or may not work set out for the smaller toddlers and babies. We are borrowing tables and chairs from everyone.

Every activity is so far free, I have put all of my energy into trying to crunch plan and do as much free hand-made things as possible. Which is hard when your hands don’t work well and your always in pain or tired. But I will keep pushing through this because my girls deserve it.

I realized that we can’t afford presents.

My Girls are so great, polite, kind, and they are always doing the right thing. They are both doing AMAZING in school so far this year. our oldest is doing amazing with her diabetes stuff, our second is doing so well with her transition from being home to being in school. I am so proud to have them as my daughters.


I am trying to find a way to get them presents this year but I can’t find any “extra” money this year. We can not let our bills go any longer because if we do then we will be without our vehicle, power or water.

I really want to get them some new size 1 snow boots that are the right size, socks, underwear, and size 8 jeans (they are both the same size)

They would be happy with some stylish boots and pants.

They are so understanding about our financial situation that they do not ask for anything because they know it all costs money and we just don’t have it.

My Diabetic Child

My oldest is Diabetic.

She is only six almost seven years old. She was diagnosed about seven months ago.

Her behavior changed, she didn’t like anything anymore and she eventually quit eating and started having accidents after being fully potty trained since age one.

We brushed it off because we had just moved to a new town, she started at a new school and she was just going through a lot at the time.

She wouldn’t eat and we started her on children’s meal shakes and took her to the doctor. He told us that she was fine, maybe she had a virus or she was just faking sick to stay home. He did no blood work and did not really examine her much.

We went home and sent her to school the next day.

The first day back at school we get the call from the nurse about an hour after she had arrived, our daughter fell at school, she couldn’t walk and was shaking violently. We picked her up and she was dehydrated because we couldn’t get her to drink anything. I immediately chose to take her to the pediatric hospital instead of going back to the doctor who did nothing before.

We get to the pediatric hospital, the doctor and nursing staff all surround her. We were freaking out but trying to remain stong and calm. They started an iv and the doctor examined her.

The doctor left and came back in less than a minute. She pulled us aside and began to explain to us that she believes that our daughter is diabetic and that they are going to do some blood work.

Our daughter moaned and cried, she screamed for them to take the ivs out. I layed in her bed and held her until she fell asleep.

The doctor returned and told us that our daughter is in fact diabetic. That we would have a busy next few months and that our daughter would be staying awhile in the hospital. We got moved up to a room after they had administered insulin and got her sugar under 1000.

Over the course of the next few days we met with an endocrinologist,  a dietician, and multiple pediatric doctors. We had to be educated and fast with everything going on.

We learned that we would be administering insulin and glycogen, that we would have to count carbs for every meal and that we would have to check her sugars before meals and often, we learned what keytones are and how to check for them and what to do if our daughter has them.

Our lives forever changed.

We learned how to eat better. I got over my needle fear fast because I was constantly giving shots. We started to get our whole household on a low carb diet. We got to leave the hospital and go home after they felt that we learned everything that we would need to know.

Now our daughter checks her own blood sugars, likes to administer the shots, and even counts carbs.

Our daughter had to mature fast and it shows. She acts like a little adult now. She is a survivor.

We still have obstacles, but we are stronger and confident that we can get through them.