Bipolar Lows…

As you know I have recently found out that I am pregnant.

It turns out that I was not very far along and that is why my levels were so low.

I have had a bad past few weeks.

I am extremely sick, not just morning sickness but extreme respiratory flu as well. I have been stuck to the couch not able to do much of anything but try to rest and take care of my children.

I got the stomach flu while I have been sick with this respiratory thing and my kids have it too.

My daughters sugars have gone crazy with all of the medications. She is not herself when her sugars bounce around to extremes.

My son just had his diagnostic appointment with a child psychiatrist and we have found some things out.

  1. He has Sensory Processing Disorder.
  2. Expressive/Receptive speech disorder.
  3. Possibly autism but we can’t finish testing until he is a little bit older.

On top of all of this I just feel like I am loosing it. I have so much going on and my brain is on overload.

Being pregnant they had to try other bipolar meds which didn’t work just to circle around to put me back on the old ones.

With Ziprexa we just don’t know the risks during pregnancy but I also don’t feel like now is a time to stop my meds.

So yeah big down lately, I am sorry that it took so long to get back to everyone.

Thank you for reading.


So I Got Denied SSI

Awhile back I had applied for Supplementary Security Income. I am disabled and have many health issues going on.

Part of my back is broken, an ongoing skin disease which every flare hurts like death (HS), fibromyalgia, bipolar, depression, PTSD, anxiety, RA, PG, severe asthma, and just so much going on.

I can hardly walk through my house to use the restroom.

I can’t really reach to wipe my own but without the magic wand because of the inflammation in my spine.

I can not drive because of all of my meds.

I have to be mostly reclined with my feet up most of the day.

I was Denied.

The letter states that my skin disease that will never go away has healed, that I can walk enough to have a job, that I can sit in a desk and that I do not qualify.

I have not been seen by one of their doctors only by a one of their psychiatrists.

My doctor says that I am disabled.

I have a cane and a handicap placard.

I am planning on contacting a lawyer on Monday. I think that this is unfair and I qualify in more than one way.

Diabetes Strikes Again

All day today my daughters sugars have been high. They were in the 200’s at breakfast time then around 10 am they spiked up to the 450’s.

For 10 hours she has had highs from 450 to well over 500.

I have been giving counter units and she has had low to no carbs in her food today.

The doctor called us back and told us to give her extra of her long-lasting insulin for now and see if it helps.

So far it is just getting higher and she is starting to show ketones.

In about an hour if we can’t get it down into the 300’s we are going to have to go to the Emergency Room.

She is only seven and has to go through so much.

Now her tummy and head hurts and she feels like she has heartburn.

Her legs and feet hurt on a daily basis but so far its been chalked up to growing pains.

She is not overweight and diabetes does not run in our family so all of this is still pretty new to her and us.

I sure hope that she starts coming down soon.

Looks like tonight will be full of cuddles.

I will update everyone if we do end up in the ER.

Thanks for reading.

My Kids Have So Many Doctors Appointments

So my oldest is diabetic. She goes in every other month for that. She just had her 7 year-old check up and is being refered out to a childrens psychiatrist.

I guess anxiety runs in the family and thats mostlikly why she has problems sleeping.

For me its like my mind can’t turn off.

For her it is pretty much the same.

I am so anxious for this appointment.

Before this she was taking melatonin and got up to 3mg. Which is an adult dose.

Hopefully when we get her anxiety under control she will sleep better. She goes to bed right after her long lasting insullin shot at 7pm and doesn’t fall asleep until around 2am and she has to be up by 6am on school days. She doesn’t nap either.

So hopefully that will help.

Also my youngest has so many appointments but his upcoming one is for speech therapy.

I am so anxious for this, I want to know all that I can to help my 17 month old communicate better.

He used to speak and then he stopped. That is what is so worrying.

With him now being non verbal, having tons of aggression when I don’t  know what he wants, freaking out with sounds, dislikes textures, does NOT like being touched, hates being dirty, and flails his arms while running in a circle before a fit, along with extreme headbutting, we are looking at something in the autism spectrum.

He is a happy boy until he isn’t and then everything goes downhill fast and he hurts himself.

So far he is too young for a definitive diagnosis.

We have found a tap to talk app which helps him communicate when he wants to use it. It helps with the aggression from not being able to communicate but he still has meltdowns when his siblings hug him or family members try to hold him or hug or kiss him, when he gets dirty, when he poops, and other stuff.

Now I’m just waiting for these appointments.


Hey guys sorry that it has been a few days, I am still recovering from the allergic reaction. At least it was just a regular allergic reaction.

So about sleepwalking, I’ve been sleepwalking.

I have always been a sleepwalker. I usually sleepwalk to get a drink or go to the bathroom or just to sit up and speak nonsense. Nothing too concerning to far.

Well I have started a new medication, Risperdal, and I have started doing some weird things.

The Risperdal was started to try to take one thing for many problems but I might just need multiple things for my mental health.

So the other day I awoke surrounded by candy. Like a whole bunch, some opened, halfway eaten, some empty wrappers and some just there.

I guess I got up, scooted a step stool against my fridge, stepped onto it and reached the candy off of the fridge and even put it away. I opened and ate some candy and carried multiple handfuls out to my couch where I sleep. All while sleeping.

I have no memory of it at all but it somehow happened.

The following night I woke up on my knees leaning over my couch with my blanket underneath me. I woke up cold. I guess I got up in my sleep and decided to urinate on my blanket on the floor in my sleep.

I am scared to take it again because I do not know what will happen during my next sleepwalking episode.

My husband sleeps through my shuffling around during the night because I am always up during the night. He didn’t think anything of it.

On a somewhat normal basis I wake up yelling or crying or sometimes on the toilet but eating or urinating on the floor is completely new.

I will be calling my doctor tomorrow to see what they can do. I am only on bipolar med #2 and she had said that it may take a while to get me to the right medication and dosage.

So I Got Sent Home

I was prescribed benedryl and steroids. 

Was told that it looks like an allergic reaction, for the other rash they dont really know if it could be the early stages of it. 

They gave me a list of things to watch for. 

That was three hours ago. Now I am at home trying to sleep and my skin is burning and my throat is really really sore. 

I cant see a doctor again until 3pm tomorrow. We cant afford to have my husband miss more work and I really dont want to wake the kids… 

Just more waiting. 

I’m Back At The ER

So I’ve started a new bipolar medication, lamictal.  I now have a red bumpy rash on my lower face, neck and chest. I was told to call my psychiatrist if I had any rash like symptoms or weird reactions. She told me to go to the er or urgent care and have labs drawn. 

So Im in the er with this rash, it hurts to touch my face, my neck and face are  swollen, I feel  like butt, and my pain in my back is at a 9/10.

It might be some weird reaction called steven johnson syndrome.  I don’t really know much about it and  I am affraid to look it up.

If thats whats going on this is going to suck. 

Why do I get the weird side effects, the bad reactions and all the rare medical stuff? 

It all just sucks.  

I will update everyone tomorrow.