Family Sucks, People Suck

I pay my step sister to bring my girl’s home from school and today she is sick so she can not.

My sister is just sitting at home and refuses to help, the same with my brother. I could call the kids out earlier so that picking them up wont interfere with their days but nope, no can do. They can’t ever help me. I feel like my family just sucks.

My mother is actually taking off work a little early to get them today. This is the first time ever. She has let me know that it is a one time thing and she can’t do this in the future.

I would just walk up to the school if my back wasn’t fractured and giving me this much pain. I might even attempt to walk up there once it warms up.

Right now its super cold here and there is snow and ice everywhere. My son with Sensory Processing Disorder will not walk in the snow and its next to impossible to push a stroller through the snow and use my walker. I can’t even do it with my cane.

Today my littlest can’t stop puking. Leaving the house is not really an option.

I need to get a cheep van. Then I won’t have to rely on anyone and I can just go drive to get them.

Everyone says make them walk but it’s too cold, they’re only in kindergarten and first grade and my first grader is type one diabetic.

This is getting hard. I am making a go fund me to help with a van. I don’t need anything pretty just functional that has enough seats.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/b3j6u2-needing-a-vehicle

 

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Expecting The Unexpected

I just found out some terrifying, scary, happy, confusing, worst timing news.

I am pregnant.

completely unexpected.

My husband and I are only “active” every thirty to forty-five days.

I went in to the OBGYN’s office yesterday to get to the bottom of my irregular periods, cystic acne, painful intercourse, facial hair and some other symptoms.

I might have had a hormonal imbalance and needed birth control but the issue is I have a hard time with the only two options that I have for birth control. I can’t have any devices implanted or any IUDs because of the Pyoderma Gangrenousm. The shot and the mini pill turn me into a crazy person. I was ready to beg to get my tubes tied knowing that It might ulcerate out with the Pyoderma.

They did a routine urine sample and everything else.

The urine sample came back pregnant.

I was in complete shock. I started tearing up and since I haven’t been able to stop.

I was done having babies, and my husband and I were in agreement on this.

We are both in a weird happy sad confused state right now.

I have got rid of everything baby related that I had because we were done.

I need to buy everything completely new or find some second-hand options.

I really hope that I am only having one because I only have room in our minivan for one more. So if I am having multiples then we need a bigger van.

We are not sure about how far along I am. I had a blood test and have to have another on Friday to see how far.

I have had some symptoms but all have been easily explainable for possibly other things.

I have been really sick to my stomach but my whole family just had the stomach flu.

I have been really tired but my fibro makes me super tired.

The heartburn has been unbearable lately but I just thought that I was having some weird side effect from one of my many medications.

I was not prepared, I am still processing and I am really worried.

This will be both high risk for both baby and me, labor will be different because of all of my health issues, I am almost guaranteed some bed rest, I have to stop one medication and stop many more over the next few months before they hurt my baby and I have to prepare to have a fifth child.

I know every baby is a blessing, but this is just really bad timing.

I feel like I can only speak to my husband and his side of the family about this because my whole family will flip and talk so much crap and put me down and it sucks.

They will find out eventually when I am huger or come home with a baby but I really don’t want to hear their crap.

I will probably start blogging about pregnancy related things for a while and how my pregnancy goes with my back being broken, my PG, and everything else that is wrong with me.

I have an appointment two hours away tomorrow about my pyoderma so I hope that I will get more answers about how it will affect my pregnancy and unborn child.

Thank you for being here and listing.

Thank you for reading.

If Somebody Can’t Love You At Your Worst They Do Not Deserve You At Your Best.

Today I feel as though the world is closing in.

My husband will be home soon to help me through this.

I am in major pain.

The most amazing man will be home to take care of me.

My daughter is having crazy blood sugars.

My husband called the doctors for her last night to get her a changed dose.

My anxiety is through the roof, with my daughters blood sugar going all crazy, the school meeting that I have tonight, my volunteer work this weekend.

He must be crazy too because he is helping with it all.

I am going through a “down” period with my bipolar.

He is here with me texting me all day when he can to check on me.

I don’t want to do anything.

 

He makes me want to do things.

I am really sick, always in pain, overweight, balding, and health-wise nothing is seeming to get better.

He still loves me, tells me that I am beautiful, helps me to the toilet and shower when I need it.

He gets me out of the house on his days off just so that I can have some fresh air.

I love him with all of my heart and soul.

I am so thankful for him.